Bushwhacker Luke: Me and me brother, we hate cops! It meant a lot to me. Steve Urkel: Ssssh, not while I'm pouring. Harriette: [Reading] Swiss Family Robinson! Steven Quincy Urkel: Well, then where am I gonna sleep? There's no one I wanna say no to more than you. The Urkel mock will think bigger in potential screw-ups for teams that have valued assets poorly in the past than for teams that have made few mistakes. Carl Otis Winslow: [packing up the camping gear] Boy that was great, a family weekend in the wilderness. Steve Urkel: Ready, my sweet? Upload. In the current social climate that is rich with dialogue about appropriate consent between men and women, women are quite reasonably, on guard about objectification. Carl: Harriette, there is a car in the living room! Waldo: You guys think you can walk all over me because I'm dumb. Waldo, you may go now. Harriette Winslow: [grabbing Carl's hair] Carl [Takes her hand away, looking at it before placing it on top of his head instead]. 7. Clarence: Dude, you a serious little nerd. You think she'll really kiss Steve? [to Steve] I'm wearing you DOWN, baby! Waldo: We rented us a limo station wagon. Steve Urkel: No, I AM a serious little nerd. Carl Otis Winslow: I do not care what other people think. Lt. Murtaugh: I dropped the, uh, nerd off next door at the, uh, nerd house. When I look in your eyes, I see a very kind soul. This has never happened before. Laura Lee Winslow: No no no, a GEEK party, as in nerd, doofus. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Harriette, stupid means good. aries: "You strike me as a woman who has never been satisfied. Carl Otis Winslow: That a girl, Harriette. Carl Otis Winslow: What did she have to say? Mucus comes in so many colors. Eddie, your father left you three messages for you and you never called him back. [after Carl as defeated Turbo with ease, Harriette runs up to him with her purse]. Laura: Girl, have you ever seen the hair salon so crowded? Jaleel White had a very busy handful of years in the '90s. Urkelbot: [Kojack Impression] Who loves ya, baby! Laura Lee Winslow: One of them is my best friend. Carl Otis Winslow: Edward, who are all these kids? Carl: You know, the only thing worse than not catching any fish is hearing you sing about it. You are such a sweetheart. When I was born when the doctor slapped me, I SHOT him! Daniel Wallace: Hey, man. Laura Lee Winslow: If you have to ask, pass. I just got a job! Steve Urkel: Nine years, three months, two weeks, four days, six hours, eight minutes, and fourteen seconds fifteen seconds sixteen seconds. Carl: If that's the case then I plead guilty. [Carl hits the mantel] Carl. But, I'd be willing to pay you. "I heard you are looking for a stud. Ms. Steuben: Well, I guess he's changed a little. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [nervous laughter] Great Wedding, huh dad. Steve Urkel: [sobbing] In about a week or so, but she gonna have to miss the prom. Laura: Sure, Steve. I tried to help you! None of this is your fault. I wouldn't know what to charge. Can you believe that? Steve Urkel: [on the stage of the strip club] Stop the music! Why can't we share? Steve looks at Laura], [At The Winslow home in the alternate world]. Harriette Winslow: She's still pretty upset, she wouldn't even touch her dinner. Waldo: I got close once. I'll take this up later with the Lieutenant. [Comes out and fights Willie as the students cheer for a fight between Urkel and Fuffner], [Waldo and Wille has just gotten out of class to trash Urkel's locker]. Just blacked out for a second there! It is always tomorrow with that boy. I can see my dad! [after Steve's Urk-yeast exploded all over the room]. Steve Urkel: Oh, I'd better lock it then! Carl Otis Winslow: Oh nothing, never mind! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: From my stay away fund- every year all my relatives send me money and hope that I won't visit them. Carl, you given me a half-eaten box of candy. Remember you wished that Steve could find out what's it like to be you. Rachel Crawford: Exactly what were Eddie's instructions? THIS? Laura Lee Winslow: Sure. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: It's a tradition in the Urkel family to not consummate the marriage for three months. [stares at the racist cop] Black. Judy: Were all of Dad's friends named Darnelle? He's half-Nerd, Half-Carl. They just love juicy gossip. I may get a B. Laura: Dad, this is serious. Laura Lee Winslow: First you better sprout a chest. Stefan Urkelle: Well, it could be a few days, or weeks, or [Steve voice] any minute now! Rachel Crawford: Yeah do you want to be buried or cremated? Included in the potential "Did I Do That?" You have the right to have an attorney present. I'll be in all the videos. That's one for the books! Everyone would think that Laura is in love with Steve Urkel and no one would vote for her. From 1989 to 1998 (via IMDb ), White . Someday, I'll thank myself for this. Carl Otis Winslow: [fishing for the catch of a party Eddie wants to go to] Are his parents going to be there? The next minute rump roast! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yeah? [Faces Eddie] Look at him, charming, handsome, popular. And there is nothing you can do to ever change my mind. I don't ever want to go to that restaurant again. Carl Otis Winslow: Well is she still crying? Why, it'll ruin my transcript! Does that about cover it? Sorry I'm late, but I got my tongue stuck in the printing press. Carl Otis Winslow: I'll get that, you must be having a rough day. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well, so is Urkelbot! Harriette Winslow: Now let me get this straight. Originally slated to be a one-time-only character on the show, he broke out to be its most popular character and gradually became its protagonist. And we practiced for six minutes! You know what? Carl will understand. I didn't kiss you. Steve Urkel: Well, ya see, we had a little muffin mayhem. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh really, why wasn't I told? Rachel Crawford: Well, Steve, I am your boss. [just got lemon tart filling thrown at him]. At a party, once, he clamped cables to his earlobes and jump-started a Volkswagen. I mean we've made contributions to this country for over 300 years, but you wouldn't know it looking at most history books, it's not fair. Laura: Let's eat everything and see if he can take a joke! Harriette Winslow: And you think I'm FAT? "If I were a stop light I'd turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.". Steve Urkel on CBS? [leaves]. Steve Urkel: Oh, no I'm not. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Steve as Stefan] Steve? To be quite frank I was embarrassed and so were all the other customers. Harriette Winslow: No, Carl let's call it what it really is, Cheap and Lazy. Steve Urkel: [Talking to Eddie and his girlfriend] You heard her, you're all witnesses. I'm wearing a Bart Simpson's mug. I'll grab my stuff and I'll be out of here tomorrow. We are properly trained. Laura: You know, I shouldn't be mingling with the opposition, but I just wanted to tell you how handsome you look under fluorescent lighting. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Laura, do you mind if your old grandmother tells you a story? Then instead of admitting it, you let us spread a log in Lake Michigan. Steve Urkel: Edo, cheating is like wearing your grandmother's underpants. You understand? Eddie Winslow, front and center! Rachel Crawford: It's almost impossible to find a job these days. I'm wearing a Bart Simpson's mug. Harriette Winslow: What a miserable evening. Steve began working on more elaborate inventions, and in "Little Big Guy" he had a new idea. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [to Carl] Worse. [plugs the cord into the socket]. The nuptuals have developed a slight snafu. Rachel Crawford: She keeled over leading a game of Simon says! I can't breathe! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Waldo heads into the kitchen as Steve emerges] You o.k., Eddo? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [voiceover, as Johnny Danger] So there I was, staring death right in the face. [Rachel walks into the living room with Richie's broken penguin beak, coutesy of a jealous Judy]. Carl Otis Winslow: Yes and that's not all. Eddie: Man, I don't have time to study. Laura Lee Winslow: If I hadn't started that petition, none of this would've happened. Steve Urkel: Whoa. You don't sleep, you don't have nightmares. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What's your aunt's name, who'd want to kill her, and who do you like in the World Series? Laura Lee Winslow: Steve, could you go a little faster? Steve Urkel: Well the good news is, my dad will do the operation for you. Let eserviate on the bright side. Carl Otis Winslow: [kisses the ice cream carton] Goodbye. Ty: Actually I haven't got my wings yet and I play the keyboard. Steve Urkel: I have to tell you, Mr. Winslow. Laura Lee Winslow: [in tears] Daddy, everything's a mess! You see, I use verbs. Steve Urkel: [sobbing] No, it's Myra, her cold got worse. Eddie: I guess this means you're gonna ground us, huh? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well for one thing, I can't feel my toes. Every time I'm around them, my mind goes blank. Rachel Crawford: Steve!, Steve! Rachel Crawford: I'll just take your word for it. Bye! Steve who? Steve Urkel: Oh yeah, just last week, she actually telephoned me in the middle of the night. He's a very large man who should be here any minute now. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Ok dad. Carl, someone parked their own piece of junk in our driveway. Welcome to Leroy's! Oh when he shows up, it's amputation time. Steve Urkel: Now, relax, Eddie. Steve is embarrassed that he didn't walk out the door faster. Sign up | Log in An . Cassie Lynn: But, it's a lie! Rachel Crawford: I'm what? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Uh no, Waldo, state your name. But, if I'm not, the last two words you'll ever say will be, "A Choo.". Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: [Unstraps his gloves] Sir, not only have you harrassed and insulted me, but you have sullied the reputation of my lady love. "I'm Asian, so I'll eat your cat." 2. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Good answer! Carl Otis Winslow: [pulls up a chair] Sit down, Edward. Harriette Winslow: [gives him a tray of drinks] Here, take these with you. Willie Fuffner: [sigh] That's different. He's a lawyer! Laura Lee Winslow: He didn't need to. Laura Lee Winslow: Rachel Crawfish, you got me, and I like the St. Louis Cardinals. [Steve thinks Rachel is in love with him, but she is really in love with another man named Steve]. Urkelbot: [Joe Friday Impression] Just the facts, ma'am. It was my nickname in preschool! But Waldo messed up and put the wrong date on the flyers. Eddie: I don't believe wat just happened, dad took Waldo to the bulls game. Wha? Laura: Sure. Myra Monkhouse: Eddie, Waldo? Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: Fuffner, I've heard of some low things in my time, but forcing Laura to go to the dance with me is plain dispicable. [Willie grabs Waldo and takes him with the cops who arrested them], [Steve has humiliated Willie at the party that he grabs a small glass of Vodka and pours it into Urkel's cup]. How much will that cost me? Harriette Winslow: These flowers are not fresh. Harriette Winslow: Oh, well it's nice to meet you, Curtis. This is amazing! Curtis: I know you're disappointed. I love this lady [Laura] and I can come over here anytime I want to and you can't stop me! Weel Good Lord man, she's an overnight success story. I'm telling you straight out, I hate this. No wonder you're my favorite grandchild. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [He walks towards Eddie and pulls out a folded flyer he took out of his pant pocket. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [cracks a laugh but tries to stop] It's so sad. "Tomorrow, Dad!" Dec 25, 2011 - Explore Nadia Hussein's board "Steve Urkel", followed by 259 people on Pinterest. Carl Otis Winslow: That's right, that petition was a great idea. Harriette Winslow: You most certainly do. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Aww that's cute. Join. Cassie Lynn: That may be what happened, but that won't be what the people believe. Rachel Crawford: The balcony scene is next. Curtis Williams: Laura, great timing. Look I clued everybody in. Harriette Winslow: Not as rough as Aunt Clotilda. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura, suppose I arrange for you to meet Johnny Gill personally. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll miss Waldo. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Next Saturday. Ok, just give me a couple of days and I sould have it fixed. Laura Lee Winslow: Tonight is the charity bachelor auction. Steve Urkel: [Hanging on a ledge] I've fallen and I can't get up! Steve Urkel: Oh, I'm not joking. Now I know, I'm not worthy of you- but I love you more now then I did then- Laura Lee Winslow- will you marry me? Doo da doo da. Then we par-tay, see no problem. It is not empty at all. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No, I *am* a serious little nerd. Steve Urkel: I can't help it, Laura. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [to a sorority girl] That dress is so tight! When's it going to end? Laura Lee Winslow: If you're really my guardian angel, where're your wings and your harp? Steve Urkel: Uh-oh, Mr.Frostbite. It's fascinating. Laura: [Curtis is about to break bad news to Laura] Curtis! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Yeah, you have to use bleach. Carl Otis Winslow: [after bringing Eddie home from jail] Now Edward, stop looking around for Steve. Raoul is the new produce manager. You showed me a picture of your dog. What's for dinner, milk and cookies? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'm not dreaming anymore. Gun, Carl. I may get F's, but, by God, I earn them! Carl Otis Winslow: It's full, Harriet! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Don't you worry, I'll work on him. Carl: 3, 2, 1 1, 2, 3 What the heck is bothering me? Harriette Winslow: Did I embarrass you, Carl? Laura and Judy, divide up the rest between Barbie doll fans and Lego lovers and get them upstairs too! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I call Waldo Faldo up. Cop: [Searching Willie and Waldo] Ok, where did you hide the booze? Harriette Winslow: Abrasive? "You're like Pringles; once I pop you, I can't stop you." 6. White . Carl Otis Winslow: Better, I locked him up. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura, I kept this ring in hopes that one day you would accept it. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Oh they love the new me. You're grounded for two weeks and you are to stay away from my car until it learns self-defense. He did for suspenders in the 1990s what Robin Williams' Mork from "Ork" did in the 1980s - he made them cool. It's a beautiful language. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: It was on his tongue! Steve Urkel: No, I don't like to disturb anyone. Waldo: I'm sorry, Steve. Sure, it may cover your hiney, but if you make a habit of it, you've got a serious problem. Let me tell you something though Weasel. Urkel pronouns are the best. Laura: Well, he's all yours, Eddie. I'm drawn to you. Laura: [grabbing his arm] Ooh! I can't even tell her it won't ever happen again! Pass the salt, Edward. 5. Anywhere away from my Laura. Steve Urkel: What? Laura Lee Winslow: Oh you're not a sorority, you're a bunch of vicious, stuck up barracudas with teased hair and push up bras. Carl Otis Winslow: Tomorrow. Steve Urkel: Well, it starts out with a little cough. Laura Lee Winslow: No, it's a work of Harriette, get it, Art, Harriette? The black kids won't talk to the white kids, people are calling each other names, taking sides! [heads for the stairs - Carl grabs him by his suspenders] I almost got ya there, Carl. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Chuck is twice the man Raoul is. Not bells, Swiss Melody Chimes. What are you doing with these bells? And most of all, you don't have to deal with bullies. Laura Lee Winslow: Well I guess Steve was practicing his accordion. Harriette Winslow: Carl, I'm up in Laura's room and she looks at me, and she asks 'Why, Mom? Steve Urkel: Oh, no buts! Harriette Winslow: Honey, that's not true. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [after Steve, Eddie & Waldo sang 'My Girl'] Don't we remind you of The Temptations? Well if he does it again, I'm gonna grab his bellows and make a wish. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: You paid him off. And believe you me, I know what being different is all about. Steve Urkel: To be quite honest, Fuffner; I'd written you off as being incorrigible. Bushwhacker Luke: Me mother was arrested by cops last night! He heads downstairs to confront Steve]. Ken: You make me wanna puke! Harriette Winslow: [Opens the candy box] Candy missing. Your baby shoes, your grandmother's denchers, fish jam; and I didn't get a thing for you. Instead of cool, it was set on Nerd. [smiles]. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: That's what I said, but Dad still said no. Willie Fuffner: Because, he humiliated me! Having aired 215 episodes, Family Matters is ranked third, behind only Tyler Perry's House of Payne (254), and The Jeffersons (253). Why would somebody do this to me?' Kanye West name-dropped "Family Matters" star Steve Urkel on his My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy track, "Dark Fantasy." However, Ye originally thought a similar line rapped by T-Pain was "corny," the "Buy U A Drank" singer claims.. As reported by HipHopDX on Tuesday (Sept. 7), T-Pain says Ye stole the concept for the Urkel-referencing line after hearing a similar lyric on his . Steve Urkel: Well, look at his poor, pathetic face. Maxine Johnson: Was there a line to get your pictures taken when you guys walked in? Whem I'm unhappy about something, I say so. Bazooms! Myra Monkhouse: I rearranged the chamber. Ouchith! Steve Urkel: No state your name not name your state. Where do I sign? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Allison, is that true? Steve Urkel: You didn't even make it onto the chart! Carl was his horse. Steve Urkel: Now that Waldo's out of the picture, does that make me your number one reject? Steve Urkel: No, well, actually it's my Uncle Ernie's hearse. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [Stands up] Dad, I'm not implying. Alexandre Dumas was black. Cassie Lynn: Look, Becky Sue. If you were a vegetable, you'd be a 'cute-cumber.'. This wire will be connected to this cord and this cord is not plugged in. Rachel Crawford: Right. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Was I ever! Carl Otis Winslow: Yep, Benjamin Banneker. Steve Urkel: Well, what if you trip or something? Laura Lee Winslow: No! Edward! Laura: For the last time, Steve. How did you know? Waldo put today's date on the flyer. She's mine! Carl Otis Winslow: Alright Harriette, you were a liiiiiiiittle abrasive tonight. Laura: [gasps] I'm sorry, I'm so sorry please forgive me. I got fifty bucks on the Knicks. Steve Urkel: No, it's not okay! Ms. Steuben: No, I'm a nervous teacher! Due to the Urkel character's off-putting characteristics and the way he would stir up events and underscore the plot or even move . Laura Lee Winslow: [after Steve gives her a ring] This is real! Carl Otis Winslow: Thanks for the present son. Weasel: [Eddie leaves and Weasel gets hit by Waldo] What was that for? Carl Otis Winslow: All right. But I like myself, and that makes me cool. It can't explode or anything? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What the heck is wrong with you? The man was open all day! And, my God, look what you've done to Waldo. Steve Urkel Had Some COLD lines for Laura and we all aint peep it Follow N Subscribe https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLt1bradMOW81OkAFlIZvfw/subscriberhttps. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [not knowing Steve and Laura saw each other naked] All right, chicken. Second, no one must ever know about this "non-date". Steve Urkel: But, I've been practicing and my progress is impressive, even if I do say so myself. If you cut me, do I not cough? So to see if he can find the best, Steve challenged a few men to put their usuals to the test!SUBSCRIBE to get t. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Weasel, you are the last person who should be giving me advice about girls. Harriette Winslow: So what you're saying is it's full. Carl Otis Winslow: Might have. I have a muscle in my forehead that will not stop jerking! Laura: Steve, did you eat that moldy cheese? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [last lines of the series] Do I get a welcome home kiss? It's not fair. Eddie: Did Halle Berry return my phone call? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: The refrigerator. Carl Otis Winslow: Steve, Everything was Going Just fine, until You Blabbed that I was a cop. Now you're going to find out what it's like to be Steve Urkel. His relationship with Eddie was usually better than with Carl and Laura. What did you do? Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, that kid is bad news. Weasel: Hey loosen up, Eduardo. Oh, you're a sore for sight eyes! I'm jealous of Todd and you want me to help him. Steve Urkel: We met once. Urkel, the camera was on Eddie the whole time. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh great, I'm gonna lose my toes. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [talking to Chondra in the bar about Maxine] Aww, yeah, she's a sweetheart but if she caught us in here together she'd rip off your arm and beat me with it. Laura: How long have we known each other? I've been there a 100 times, but this time was different. I'm a person, and I have feelings, and I demand to be treated with respect and dignity! Eddie: I just did the laundry and I'm on my way out to wash the car and cut the grass. In fact, they finally introduced me to my grandparents. Carl Otis Winslow: How about if I convince Laura to go out on a date with you. Harriette: [still unsympathetic towards Eddie's selfishess] Fair? 1. Waldo: Cheating it wrong, Eddie, and you should know that. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: That's big talk coming from a guy in Italy. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Wrong, cummerbund breath. Waldo Faldo: Be careful he has another one. Carl Otis Winslow: March 24th, Raoul's houseboat is beautiful. Steve Urkel: Sh-she touched me, Carl! Remember last year when she bought that date with the retired underwear model. Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. As played by Jaleel White, the ultra-nerdy teenager with his whiney voice, awkward walk, pants rolled up high, and apprehensive catchphrase "Did I do. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well why don't you take the guy's next door? Judy Winslow: Boring.